FIX THE PROBLEM, NOT THE BLAME

But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.

Colossians 3:8

We only have a certain amount of emotional energy to go around. When we are trying to resolve conflicts, we can use that energy to fix the blame or fix the problem.

“But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.” (Colossians 3:8)

We do not have enough energy to do both. We have to ask ourselves what is more important, blame the other person, or resolve the conflict. We need to choose to fix the problem, not the blame.

When it comes to solving problems, we need to decide ahead of time that we will fight fair. Within our marriages or families, set ground rules for words we will never use - words can create, or they can destroy.

Even when we are on opposite sides of an issue, we could at least agree not to use our words to cause destruction.

When we use our words in our relationships as weapons, we fix blame, but we never fix problems. In marriages, for example, those weapons include things like threatening divorce or bringing up each other’s parents. We have to agree, no matter how upset we are, those words are off-limits. Those are words that create destruction; they destroy a relationship by tearing down trust.

The Bible is very specific about what is out of bounds in a relationship: anger, rage, malice, slander, and bad language, to name a few.

They are used to fix blame, and when we fix blame, we are judging, and only God has the right to judge.

Set aside destructive words and use your energy for what matters. Fix the problem, not the blame.

What are the words you use in your relationships? Do they build or do they destroy?  

Heavenly Father, I ask You to put a watch over my mouth that I sin not with my tongue. My tongue is created to praise You and bring honor to You. Through Your Word living inside me, I will watch what I say and do good and not destroy others. Thank You, Father. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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